1. People who hear about what I do and ask me if I’m any good at it.
“Oh, is that what you do? Are you the type who does it crappily or do you do it the way I want you to do it? Let me tell you about the time I had a bad experience with someone who did the same job as you.”
2. My favorite time was when I told my dentist, and he immediately shoved both of his hands into my mouth and bitched a 20 minute monologue about his experiences with “my sort,”, giving me no chance to respond or stand up for myself. His complaints involved him having to do things such as walk 4 extra feet, and I have to say, maybe it’s good I couldn’t respond, because I’ve noticed him getting pudgier each time I go in for a cleaning, and I may have had to comment. It’s always best not to insult those about to poke your gums with pointy metal things.
3. At least I do my endless bitching in such a way that people can stop reading if they don’t want to listen to me anymore.