Disengaged Woman

bitching to myself.

The Eternal Conundrum July 4, 2009

Filed under: Sex, Dating, Body Image — Auma Afton @ 11:39 am
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1. I am deathly afraid of ending up with someone like my dad. This fear increases each time I find myself with a psychopath, because how my mother ended up with the man she did involved first getting stuck in a bad relationship with a crazy guy, and then leaping over to my future father at the last moment, settling for someone who treated her better than the insane. I’m sure that better than the insane is good at first, but overall it’s really not what I’m hoping to land in terms of a man. How about respectful and sane?

2. Just because you keep coming back to the same man, doesn’t mean he’s “the one.” I don’t know if it’s the culturally driven mantra of “one love, one man, fate, soul mate, FIND, FAST, NOW, bitch,” but just because you find yourself with the same asshole over and over again does NOT mean he’s “the one.” It probably means he’s an asshole. I think I’ve figured this out: Women stay with assholes, because the asshole makes her feel bad about herself, and she doesn’t think she can get anything better. She leaves the nice guy, because the nice guy makes her feel good about herself, and like she can be with anyone.

Of course there are the mature few who have risen above this fate, those who feel good about themselves all the time anyway.

3. After failed anti-obama man, rejection of the nice country cover band boy, and hasty departure from paranoid hermit, I realized: It is time for me to learn to feel good about myself regardless of male influences. So I’m taking a dating break.